A Martial Artist's Survival of Spouse Abuse Martial arts Ezine Issue 40

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Place the web site address on business cards and flyers of web sites in which you have written martial arts articles. Being published by a world wide martial arts electronic magazine will give you even more credibility.

Sensei J. Richard Kirkham

How do we keep this Martial Arts Ezine going and expand it even further?

With your help. If you would forward this

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The idea of reading articles, and getting opinions from martial artists all over the world is still amazing.


Quotes of the day:

This is for teachers working with anyone who has know violence and is
striving to find another way.  I  decided that the context of both of these
is relevant to martial arts, hope that no one is offended.  It is the
message of reality and change, and meeting it in a manner to enjoy life
another day.  It's what I 've been learning the last few years from aikido,
IV and V are the philosophy/action of aikido I realized today: Walk around
the attacker or Walk down another path.  Most,maybe all? of the techiques
are getting off our original line and taking another one and making a circle
around the one attacking while doing techniques.

Peace and strength to all,

The author of the article below
I GOT FLOWERS -anonymous

 I got flowers today. It wasn't my birthday or any other special day. We had
our first argument last night, And he said a lot of cruel things that really
hurt me.

 I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said, because he sent me
flowers today. I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other
special day.

 Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like
a nightmare. I couldn't believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and
bruised all over.

 I know he must be sorry, because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers
today, and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.

 Last night, he beat me up again. And it was much worse than all the other
times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids?
What about money? I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.

 But I know he must be sorry, because he sent me flowers today. I got
flowers today.

 Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he
finally killed me.  He beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough
courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.

How about submitting your own quotes. Martialartists@hotmail.com



Does kata (forms) help you with self-defense? Your Answer

Previous Responses to Karate Kwestions you may respond to

RK, here's some possible questions to throw out to all...(you can change them a little, if my meanings are unclear):

Is YOUR art a "technique" art, or a "form" art? What's the difference between the two? Which should I practice more of, technique or form?



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Can a good street fighter beat a black belt? Your Answer

Previous Responses to Karate Kwestions you may respond to


A subscriber has written in and was wondering what martial arts exercises he can do to help lose weight? Your Response

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Concerning The Myths of Internal Energy Strikes

Previous Responses to Karate Kwestions you may respond to

A Reader posed this question. It really happened: Question: What should happen to a martial arts instructor who uses his position to gain trust and then have a sexual encounter with a minor.

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I now have a place where you can add your favorite martial arts techniques. Even if it is already on the martial arts techniques page, feel free to add your martial arts technique again so martial artists may see how popular the martial arts technique is. Right now this is being done with form mail. If anyone can set this up as cgi with an autoreponse email I'd appreciate the help.

A Martial Artist's Survival of Spouse Abuse

This is one of the bravest, most humble women that I have had the honor to know. At her request I have withheld her name, but read the story and gain courage from it. I enclosed her letter to me as part of the article as I thought that also was important.

To any women out there in an abusive relationship or any men being abused for that matter although the numbers are smaller, the situation will not change until there is third party intervention, get out of there.

To you abusers who feel hitting the person you love is your way of saying I love you, she is not making you do that, she does listen, you need to listen, you will not change without help. If you love your family, get out of there and get some help or else you will destroy them and yourself and the pattern will repeat itself till you are in jail or dead.

Sensei J. Richard Kirkham B.Sc.

Hi Rick,

It's been as hard putting this in black and white as it has been to learn it I think ... and that has been a good thing.   I apologize for it taking sooooo long.  I have benefited from writing it so much that I thank you for asking me to consider it.  Decided I'd send it to you cause you originally asked, but please do not feel obligated to use this. Since the list is slow maybe it should just go there.  But it would put them all to sleep.  My teacher and I have covered all these bases sometime and really don't need to have him read it ahead of time cause I'm not really talking about how to do techniques, but how the training has influenced how I experience myself and my environment I think.  It's been a real lesson to try to objectively put this in print and think it through, and by no means is the story over! Its encouraging to notice the changes and that I have time to work on the weaknesses knowing that change is possible with dedication and time. I don't think lists have known this much of my story and how aikido has impacted my life.

Changes that studying aikido have brought to me have been a welcome addition to my life and have given me back who I know myself to be in many ways.  The lessons have not come simply or quickly and were not expected, but are worth every ounce of effort, fear, and tears that they have cost for the hope and life they have brought me thus far.  Emotional and verbal control became overt once there was a legally binding relationship.  The change was slow enough that I was blind to the implications I would see later.  Accepting the controlling behavior and the evaluation of who I was through his eyes set the stage for not valuing my own thoughts, and worth.   I accepted the violence as a consequence of my actions or thoughts and felt that nothing I could do would make any difference to end the direction in the short or long term in this marriage.  I learned to react, or respond to protect myself or fight back would prolong the aggression and escalate it.  Standing quietly and relaxed as I could muster ended the aggressive or violent episodes quicker and with less soreness the next day.  It was a silent death while living which I participated in for more than a decade.

It took a decade of gradual immersion in a controlling relationship to make me immune to the violence and feel that nothing I could do would make any difference. Talking my way out of unexpected violence in my home worked for awhile and for a season life was quieter. Later when I moved to block a blow or leave the room the violence got worse. Enough of my life was controlled that I couldn't find way to leave.  I found it was safer to take a little of the punishment than to further aggravate him and bring on more violence. That is a learned victim behavior that is self protection when there is no good way out seen and you have given up.  When the assaults escalated to being life threatening I *lost it* and was physically aggressive in return because I had *nothing* to lose and returned violence with violence.

Realizing I was going to die anyway to awakened me to the fact that to do anything while their was breath was to fight for my life so just move and do until I could not breath. The four times I took that attitude though I had no training I ended up with sloppy successful throws that knocked him out on the wood floor. He went down cold and I walked and returned later thinking this would not recur, but it did three more times.  I was lucky, didn't know how I was defending myself, and needed to find a way out as I had found a way to temporarily end the violence. It gave me confidence to start planning to leave and I left shortly thereafter with no notice. The fourth time was the last. I didn't know what was changing or why it worked.  I wanted life, and not to find it while fighting for it. Deciding to fight for it was the first small step that set me on a mew path of discovery.

Studying aikido has given me the opportunity to reframe acting in self-defense when I had identified myself as violent because I violently reacted to physical assault in the end of the relationship. Learning that I am a part of the universe, connected to it, and its power as is everyone was a challenging concept. Becoming aware that my attitude, posture, awareness and ability to acknowledge other's presence while not giving ground rather than being invisible, and vulnerable is invaluable. Gaining the physical skills has been the path for learning this as a whole instead of being left with the intellectual acknowledgement of the history and not having the skills to build the attitudinal and body language changes into who I am, how I speak and how I move.

Learning that physical aggression does not have to equal violence and doesn't have to be emotional based has been important. That in any circumstance I am worth defending whether removing myself, verbally defusing things or having to act physically. It also gave me the courage and awareness to thwart a gas station car jacking without engaging in a physical altercation which was not stacked in my odds. It's helped me regain myself and my life again and that's invaluable.

Before I began exploring aikido I thought being centered meant having integrity and choosing actions in line with your principles instead of reacting to the environment or emotions.  It seems to have taken a primarily physical definition now like having a string pull you up from the crown of your head with the rest of the body following.  Picture a straight back, relaxed hips, shoulders and arms being fundamental to being centered.  What I am beginning to see is that the physical centering around a plumb line is an embodiment of the mental attitude.  The same off balancing occurs when on the physical or mental plane.  It I concentrate on learning to center or find my stability on the physical level the other levels are slowly developing core strengths as well.

When the physical and mental/emotional are both "plumb" it is like finding the high voltage wire by accident and everything seems different and works cleaner.  What's funny is that I can notice my body language now when I am out of balance and see where I am leaning and what I am trying to shy a way from and how that reflects in my thoughts, feelings, and actions.  It's been a real wake up call.  Only just beginning to see it and recognize this in short snatches, but it is enlightening to me to notice the changes.

From my past I was left with the knee jerk reactions to sounds, body language, noise, cues in the environment which left me raw and ready to run or do harm when the reaction was out of proportion to the present. A experience from my job showed me some hope for my learning curve in aikido.  I came the back into front of the office and there were two very loud aggressive sales people that had employees baffled and upset. With in a few moments we had spoken, had an understanding, they were quiet and thanking me and left smiling. The others had tried to have them leave and they just got more riled up. Funny the office mates asked me what I did to them to make them be so polite and subdued and thank me upon leaving.

I realized later that I did what our teacher says is owning the mat. That it is my space and controlling my space, getting out of the line of attack, and controlling how close someone is to me...that is my job. That to accept the attack and see it from their point of view while diffusing it is really powerful. And quieting....uncanny how it quieted them. People kept saying they never saw anything like it and asked what I did and I couldn't tell them....I didn't know. It's begun to change those kind of things.
Now none of this is physical technique. The only physical was ending the cycle of violence at the end before even beginning any martial art. The strange part is the changes are more telling outside of the dojo when I am startled than when I am practicing. Yet it now is changing my natural reactions and giving me alternatives that are a welcome surprise when they work and someone asks how you handled it. When I am practicing all I see are the miles to go and so much that I need to learn. Yet I've realized its more likely for me to use the principles I'm learning in this manner than to end an altercation any longer. But its in learning and disciplining my whole self that the changes are coming slowly and imperceptibly until there is a challenge for me to meet and I am surprised with how I handled it without thinking.

Sensei J. Richard Kirkham is a 27 year martial art veteran. He is a dual certified teacher with a Bachelors of Science Degree in Physical Education with a background in Special Education, Exercise Physiology, Movement Education, and Behavioral Modification. He is presently an in home tutor, self-defense instructor, and body guard. Mr. Kirkham is presently teaching in Honolulu Hawaii. He can be reached at 808-528-5775 Ext. 5. He has one challenge which has yet to fail him, he can increase anyone's striking power 50% to 100% in one lesson. For those who cannot see him in person, he offers the same service with others on affordable custom video tapes. Sensei Kirkham has the unique service of offering in home classes so that people may learn self-defense in the privacy of their home without worrying about travel after a hard days work.

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You will be one of those responsible for spreading the word about our (yours and ours) Martial Arts Ezine. As we receive more and more links and get more and more martial arts ezine contributors and martial arts ezine advertisers, some of the older martial arts links may be removed. However, I will add links to the last 10 martial arts ezine pages which had been registered to search engines so that martial artists and martial art enthusiasts will continue to be able to access your link. (No links, articles, or classifieds are related to the Martial Arts Ezine and we are not responsible for their content nor are they responsible for ours)

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Dear Sensei Kirkham, As always it is very interesting, informative and a pleasure to visit your website. I need to have my URL updated on your page in your links section. My ISP has changed my websites address due to a merger with another ISP and I need to get the URL updated. It is for Mieir King Services/King's Kung Fu. The new URL is: http://home.sprynet.com/~rmieir
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Hi, I found your site while searching for Link-0-Matic software. I came to the tripod domain. I would like to add my link Thanks. Shihan Michael Pacehttp://www.pacekarate.com/win.html
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> Hi Rick,>> I have a Martial Arts Tips site that contains Sparring Strategies if you> would like to grab the text off of there, feel free. I would be honoured to> be in your next issue.> > Let me know if you can use the sparring strategiesthere.> > >> Adam Gibson > (Bowmanville, Ontario, Canada)http://members.tripod.com/martial_arts_tips
The Martial Artist's Information Base http://www.techie.net/~corbel/ma
This website includes links to other martial arts schools and info. http://www.infinet.com/~bmorgan1
The Art of Martial arts: Theoritical foundations and schools of thought associated with martial arts. From a student seeking the path to enlightenment.http://members.xoom.com/adamigdal/Index.html
Sir: here is our web page address,,,,,,thank youhttp://in-119.infospace.com/h.p/shnoozle1
Hello: I found your site while surfing the 'net, under "martial arts" with Excite. My name is Mindy, and I represent the North American branch of Sakura(R) Martial Arts Supply Co., your Local Global Connection for World Class Martial Arts Supplies. We would be pleased to exchange links with you. Our URL is: SAKURA MARTIAL ARTS SUPPLY CO. http://www.sakura-0.com/
Hello! I'm a martial artist myself, and recently I decided to create one of my first web sites, so if you'd like to insert it into your page you're welcome to do so. http://members.tripod.com/~grigorythegreat/kung-fu.htmland http://members.tripod.com/~grigorythegreat/TaiChiPage.html
I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised! More intelligent, well researched writing than some of the rags on the newsstand! Please add my link - (site still under construction)


Makoto Kabayama

Kabayama Bushidokan

Jeet Kune Do Concepts and Philosophy

The martial arts section of Eric Liao's homepage. Links, videos, and a self written martial arts tutorial.

I think it's great that you're putting out a free martial arts ezine. I haven't had time to read through the articles yet, but I will. I'd like to be added to your ezine's mailing list.


Jade Dragon Online will expand your knowledge of Asian culture through feature articles on martial arts, Asian philosophy, holistic health, doing business in Asia, the Asian-American experience, and much, much more!http://www.jadedragon.com/index.html
Come and have some fun @ Australian FREE Goodies! http://www.freegoodies.com/free.html
Thank you for trading links with the Martial Arts Ezine
Guy Savelli http://www.worldkungfu.com/
Please add my url to your site. We have a great product that all martial artists can benefit from! http://www.viaweb.com/kungfu http://www.viaweb.com/kungfu
  Fitness Resource Page http://www.netsweat.com/ http://www.netsweat.com/
a free bulletin board service. I added our Martial Arts Ezine Link therehttp://www.halcyon.com/richardc
  The website on Martial Arts:http://www.student.kuleuven.ac.be/~m9209392/Ninja.htm http://www.student.kuleuven.ac.be/~m9209392/Ninja.htm
  Martial Arts Links http://www.hpl.hp.com/personal/Danny_Abramovitch/ma_sites.html http://www.hpl.hp.com/personal/Danny_Abramovitch/ma_sites.html
Media Link's Free Web Goodies Dale has martial arts links and a dumb letter page you have just got to read. http://www.erinet.com/cunning1/tiles.html http://www.erinet.com/cunning1/tiles.html
Marz Invasion has martial arts links and other links to interesting sites http://www.mv.com/ipusers/marz/ http://www.mv.com/ipusers/marz/
  Black and Blue Productions uvmaster@mediaone. http://www.blacknbluevideo.com/
SENSEI RICK TEW MARTIAL SCIENCE An eclectic system of martial arts Private and group martial arts instruction and lectures http://www.ninjitsu.com/ http://www.ninjitsu.com/
BLAUER Tactical Confrontation management Systems http://www.tonyblauer.com/ http://www.tonyblauer.com/
  Martial Art articles by Don A. Cunningham

Thank you for giving the Martial Arts Ezine Permission to reprint them as needed.



 LWC BOOKS http://www.aracnet.com/~lwc123/ http://www.aracnet.com/~lwc123/
 Zen Puzzles - I looked at this myself and loved them http://enchantedmind.com/
Frank Thiboutot http://www.wowpages.com/cardiokick http://www.wowpages.com/cardiokick
Hi Gang,

Great work on the pages. If possible, can our link be added to your LINKS section?

Thanking you in advance for your consideration.


Steve Fossum

Koo Self Defense International World Headquarters

Koo Self Defense International World H.Q Awards Winning Web Site http://www.ksdi.net/e-mail: info@ksdi.netA unique street self defense martial arts' training system developed by Master Roger Koo. Visit our Awards Winning Web Site! http://www.mindspring.com/~rk1/homepage.htm

Grandmaster Petrotta

Vice President of the World MooSul Kwan Federation

Check out my website @

http://www.martialarts2000.com and http://www.martialarts2000.com/speciallinks.html
American Martial Arts Supply - For all your martial arts needshttp://www.hand-crafted.com/
Graceworld - A cybermall for the martial artists - martial arts equipment, weapons, sword, knives, giftware, health products, tiedye apparel and more. We ship worldwide! http://www.graceworld.com/
I enjoyed your page and please add my sight

thanks for sharing your page with me...

http://members.wbs.net/homepages/w/i/s/wisdom63.htmlTimothy P. Birmingham

Shoreijiryu Homepage http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Loge/7673/
United States Taekwondo Union - The USTU is the National Governing Body for Taekwondo for the World Taekwondo Federation and US Olympic Committee. http://www.ustu.com/
there is a great site at: INTERNATIONAL JUJUTSU SOCIETY http://welcome.to/kokusaijujutsu
Sensei J. Richard Kirkham, My name is Bernardino Santana Junior. If is possible I would like to add a link of me page i your site. My page is about ASAMCO, a brasilian martial art. This page have two versions, Portuguese and English. The adress is : I found your site in www.altavista.com when I was looking for "martial arts styles". Please reply this email . Thank you Bernardino www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Bleachers/2245- Portuguese version

www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Bleachers/2245/asamco.htm -English version
Master Kirkham,
Request permission to link with your web page. We are the World Ji Do Kwan Federation.
Senior Master Herb McGuire WJDKF
Dit Da Jow and other Herbal Liniments, Martial Arts Books, Videos, Classes in Kung-Fu and Tai Chi Chuan, and more".
Wing Chun Kung Fu http://www.angelfire.com/pa/99vs66/MartialArts.html
Internal Martial Arts http://www.imagist.net/orientalmed
Fitness Pros Bodybuilding Resource. Free Newsletter, articles and book reviews. Walter Jennings Personal Trainer Certified by the IFPA Fitness Pros Bodybuildinghttp://www.fitnesspros.com/
Please add link to my martial arts web at: http://www.rutabaga.com/~xena/karate.htm
Please consider my link:
Fitness Pros Bodybuilding
Fitness Pros Bodybuilding Resource. Free Newsletter, articles and book reviews. Walter Jennings Personal Trainer Certified by the IFPA Fitness Pros Bodybuilding
Arnis Balite
Koinonia Productions

my name is David Garcia and my
I am a 6th generation disciple of Master Man Kwong Fong who was the youngest student to train eatensively and learn the complete system of Pak Mei Kung Fu also known as White Eyebrow Kung Fu under the personal instruction of Grandmaster Cheung Lai Chun. PAK Mei is a rare,unique and advance form of self defense which is rarely seen is the martial art circle.Pak Mei Kung Fu is one of the few system that combines both shaolin and Taoist practices into a single fighting style.
Sifu David Garcia.
Hi Richard,>> I've have added a link to your site from my MartialArts Link-Site. >> I was hoping that you return the favour and add alink from your site to my > Link-Site.>> > > Sincerely Yours,>> Adam W. Gibson> (Martial Arts Author) http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Stands/7291/martialartslinksite.htm


 All right that's about it this time. How often will this come out? You let me know how often you would like to come out by submitting articles, space ads, and or classifieds. Have any suggestions yourself? Let me know.


Sensei J. Richard Kirkham



Martial Arts Ezine 38 King Sejong: Korea's Finest Ruler

Traditional Martial Arts Martial Arts Ezine 37

Martial Arts Ezine Issue 36 Vital Areas
Understanding and Applying the Art: Martial-Arts-Theory Martial Arts Ezine Issue 35

FIGHTER'S FACT BOOK: Over 400 Concepts, Techniques and Drills to Make You a Better Fighter Martial Arts Ezine Issue 34

Martial Arts Sensitivity Drills Seeing Without Sight Martial Arts Ezine Issue 33

Martial Arts Ezine Issue 32 Martial Arts, Crime, Our Children

The Myth of Internal Energy Strikes in Martial Arts


Shower Power Martial Arts Quick Training Methods for Martial Artists with No Time for Martial Art Training

Admiral Yi Sun-shin A Historical Warrior

Training Your Unwilling Spouse in Realistic Martial Arts


Modern Teaching Methods of an Ancient Art, A Humble Courtesy to All Martial Arts Instructors


Martial Arts Swindlers and Martial Arts Egomaniacs

Rape A True Story Of Survival

A Martial Arts Poem - Tygre

Third issue http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine51098.html

Fourth issue http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine51798.html

Fifth issue http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine6198.html

Sixth issue http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine61598.html

Seventh issue Japanese Weapons http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine7198.html

Eighth issue Another Martial Arts Ezine http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine71598.html

http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine71598.html Nineth issue Martial Arts for Disabled People http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine8198.html

http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine8198.htmlTenth issue Martial Arts Blocking Drill http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine81598.html

http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine81598.html11th Issue A Martial Artists Path http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine9198.html

12th Issue An Eastern Fable - The Stonecutter http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine5198.htmlhttp://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine91598.html

http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine91598.html13th Issue Knife Drills http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine5198.htmlhttp://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine10198.html


Knife Drills and Evasive Drills http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine11198.html

Conguering Fear http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine111598.html

http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine91598.html Push Ups

Offense Defense http://tutor.hypermart.net/martialarts_ezine121599.html

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